


At Soup

by LordCheesecake



Series: Alien!Roman au [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, He and Virgil just argue over the phone, Other, Roman doesn't understand the human, alien!Roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 14:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15798792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordCheesecake/pseuds/LordCheesecake
Summary: “WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!”orRoman is an alien and has no idea how earth stores work. Mayhem ensues.Also, when you think”alien”, think Starfire from Teen Titans.





	At Soup

**Author's Note:**

> I'm starting a new au! Yay, I guess...
> 
> In this, Roman is an alien visiting Earth who doesn't understand anything, really.

For more info on this au, check [here](https://lord-cheesecake.tumblr.com/post/177376845014/alienroman-au).

 

Virgil groaned loudly as he plucked the black and grey sweater he'd lent to Roman, the odd alien prince who was now apparently crashing in his tiny three bedroom apartment, out from between the cushions. The garment, which Roman should've been wearing at all times, hid the six spines lining Roman's back as he was unwilling to retract his 'beautiful, amazing, dazzling spines that every human should wish that they had'. Not that Virgil even cared all that much.

The flamboyant man was absolutely fascinated with the human world, and every chance he got, he would try to escape and learn more about human culture. And while his curiosity wasn't something Virgil frowned at, it was still annoying. If Roman was ever discovered, who knew what would happen! He might be taken away by the government or cut up into a million different pieces and examined. Again, not that Virgil cared all that much.

But with the alien gone and the sweater here, plus the possibility of having a 'Logan freak out' once he discovers that his favourite experiment had vanished, he wasn't going to take any chances. Totally not because he cared about the man.

Letting out another groan, he snatched his phone off the coffee table and plopped down onto the couch, dialling the number of the ratty old phone they'd lent to Roman for emergencies.

"Ah! Hello, my small friend!" Virgil winced and pulled his phone away from his ear, the deafening roar of the boisterous man making Virgil's head spin and his ears ring.

"Why are you screaming," he muttered, keeping the receiver at a safe distance from his face.

"Why, how else would you be able to hear me through this device?"

"You can just, you know, speak normally and I'll be able to hear you."

"Really?" the alien sounded in awe with Virgil's words but kept his tone loud and noisy.

"Just, lower your volume, would you."

"Of course, my dark friend! Is this sufficient?" he whisper-yelled.

"Just...it's fine. Anyways," he continued, praying that Roman wouldn't interrupt him while he spoke. ", where are you. We told you that you needed to wear the sweater at all times. Especially if you wanted to go outside. Also-"

"Well," interjected Roman. ", the sweater you gave me. It's just so dark. It's drab and there's absolutely no colour! It's hideous. Not Princely at all."

Virgil growled softly as he rubbed his eyes. This stupid son of a...

"That's my sweater y'know, so don't say it's ugly. Besides, you do remember why you need to wear that sweater, right. Here, say it with me. It's to hide your,"

"Spines. Yes, I'm aware. However, I've learned to retract them!" Roman cheered, voice quivering with excitement and the echoing of rubber shoes against linoleum told Virgil that he was jumping around. Wherever he was. "And," he continued, "I'm willing to put up with the pure embarrassment that is not having these beautiful parts of me, which you should accept, by the way," cue Virgil rolling his eyes, "to be in the outside!"

"That's great," he mumbled, trying his best to sound cheerful while he picked at his nails boredly.

"You're lying! How rude. Don't you know-"

"You're a Prince. Yeah, yeah. I know. You tell me all the time."

"I bet Logan would've been proud of me..." he muttered, going silent for a few seconds before letting out a dejected huff.

I'm just gonna ignore that. Again, where are you."

"Oh," the man brightened all of a sudden, putting Virgil on edge slightly. ", because your clothing bothers me so, I've decided to buy my own! Something with no high collars and as many bright colours as I want!"

Virgil resisted the urge to roll his eyes, cringing slightly as the realization that Roman had been yelling in a store washed over him. The alien sounded so dreamy and out of it that it was almost sickening from Virgil's cynical point of view.

"Do you have the money for that?"

"...What is this 'money' you speak of?"

"It's...How," he sighed, struggling to reorient himself. "Just get what you want and one of us will pick you up later. We'll pay for it too as long as it's within reason."

"Um...It might be a while before I'm done."

"Roman. Why."

"Despite my best efforts, I cannot find the clothing. It appears as if there is only soup."

"...Just soup?"

"Yes, that's what I said. Do you need me to speak up? Because I can if yo-"

"Are you in the soup aisle?"

There was a slight pause before Roman answered.

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Why are you buying clothes in the soup aisle?" Virgil pressed, not wanting the conversation to drag on.

"That is a good question. I'm not sure."

"Did you check anywhere else?"

"Well no but-"

"GO INTO THE OTHER AISLE!" Virgil yelled, exasperation spilling over into his voice as the alien continued to grate on his nerves.

"Alright! You don't have to rush me!" the alien cried, his voice pouty and childish. Sucking in a breath, Virgil quelled his frustrations and reminded himself that it wasn't the alien's fault that he didn't understand everything.

"What do you see," Virgil's voice remained calm and collected.

"There's still only soup."

"What do you mean there's only soup!" he exploded, the last of his cool evaporating away, leaving the angry Jersey boy in its wake. "Why is there only soup?" he demanded, not bothered in the slightest when he heard his accent push through into his words.

"Well, the sign only says 'Soup Store'. Maybe that's why!"

Soup store. As in a store that sold soup and only soup. A store that only sold broths, chowders, and bisques. Not clothes.

"You're buying clothes at a soup store..." Virgil felt dazed' at a loss for words at Roman's utter stupidity and lack of knowledge on the human world. At any other time, Virgil even might've found his helplessness hilarious. But now was not that time. "WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SELL THERE?"

"Soup?" the meekness in Roman's voice only fueled Virgil's rage.

"SO WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES FROM THE SOUP STORE?"

"I DON"T KNOW!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING!"

Before Virgil could get an answer, the alien hung up, maybe in fear of Virgil's wrath or just unwilling to speak to him anymore. Nonetheless, the call ended, much to Virgil's relief. Resisting the urge to throw his phone out the window, Virgil calmy set it back down and leaned back into the couch, breathing slowly to settle his anger.

Looking at the cat clock hanging on the wall, he groaned loudly when he saw the time. It was only 1pm.

Oh dear God. Why did they take in the alien?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
